Butler Cabin, Augusta National (c) Burgh Golfer

Friday, December 3, 2010

Gifts Golfers Want Least

It’s the holiday season again and time for golfers to make their lists for Santa. Each year most of us who play the game get at least one golf gift that should be categorized as a gag gift or borderline ridiculous.

We have all opened packages on Christmas morning to find a pair of ugly golf pants, a crazy plaid sweater or a poorly scripted golf video. Why do our loved ones insist on buying us these things? Are they joking, or simply have no clue on what golfers really want?

As much as pretend to be excited and surprised, in the back of our mind we are thinking, “oh no, not another bad golf present”. How am I going to return this? I hope they included a gift receipt.

Here are a few gifts you should NOT buy for your friends and family members this holiday season.

The Golf Tie. Every season has an ugly tie. Spare the golfers!!! No ties displaying golfing Santas, please!

The Exploding Golf Ball. Yep, I got one of these a few years ago and of course, it is still in my garage – unused. I’m thinking about using it on the person who gave it to me one day.

Animal Head Covers. Unless your gift recipient is named; Tiger, The Shark or The Walrus, we do not need any animal head covers, especially Flamingos.

Complicated Swing Aids. Did you see the one that looks like it came from a Chinese Torture Chamber? A better gift idea would be lessons from a qualified local PGA Professional.

Ugly Golf Clothing. Unfortunately, golf has a reputation for plaid sweaters and knickers. Please do not add to this stereotype. Most of us don’t want to look like Ian Poulter.

The Golf Ball Paper Weight. It only encourages more desk clutter.

Motivational Golf Posters. Like “Frustration.” with the tag line "it is a sad fact that, regardless of effort or talent, second place means you are in a long line of losers.

Golf Ball Key Chains. Way to difficult and embarrassing to walk around with an extra ball in your front pocket.

Naked Lady Golf Tees. Need I say more? Too distracting.

Bad Golf Movies. Stick with classics like the original Caddyshack or Tin Cup.

A Golf Net. It will drive your spouse or neighbors nuts depending on whether it is in the basement or backyard

Golf Screen Saver. Way too tempting. Hmmmm…should I work or play golf today?

Looking back, the only ridiculous golf gift that I actually liked was a t-shirt that said I Love My Wife Golf. No need to yell back in an agreement. Instead, I just headed upstairs and put on that shirt. Enough said.

Or, on a positive note if we do receive one of these gifts this year, then we will have something for the gift exchange next year.

Merry Christmas,

Source for head cover; www.gifts.com
Source for tees; www.golfnut.com

1 comment:

  1. How about a Kindle golf book? Like this one (I couldn't stop laughing):

    "Tales from the Munies"